alt.infertility.primary FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions)
Note: This is not a product of FertilityPlus, and is being posted here as a courtesy to the alt.infertility.primary newsgroup founders and members.
written by founders Rick and Becky Steele
written Jan 17, 1997
revised July 5, 1997
second revision May 13, 1999
third revision Sept 20, 1999
4th rev. Oct 20, 1999
revised Dec. 6, 2001
The definition we will use for primary infertility as pertaining to this alt.infertility.primary newsgroup is as follows:
Anyone who has tried for one year (6 months if 35 or older) to get pregnant or has a doctor diagnosed fertility problem such as endometriosis or PCOS who has not managed to carry to term a child. Or simpler, one who has no biological children of their own, and is diagnosed as infertile.
What if you become pregnant? We all understand that achieving pregnancy does not mean that person has overcome infertility. Unfortunately many who become pregnant will also miscarry. We do not intend that you are not welcome on this group if you become pregnant, but for the sake of the others on this group, who most likely won't get pregnant at the same time you do, we request that you do not discuss your pregnancy on this group. We prefer one public pregnancy announcement, with all congratulatory notes sent through private e-mail.
We would also prefer it if you only post pregnancy announcements if you have been an active participant of the group before the announcement. If you are not part of the support system, the announcement is not a light of hope for those of us who are at the end of the road. We want to be your friend in times of trouble, so we can be your friend in times of happiness.
Alt.infertility.pregnancy is available for those who become pregnant and wish to discuss their pregnancy with others. Alt.infertility.primary is not the place for such discussions, and if repeated will be reacted to negatively.
Who is not a primary infertile? Anyone who has a biological child, no matter how long it took for them to get pregnant, or what the fertility problem is.
Who is welcome on this group? Anyone who meets the definition of a primary infertile as defined in this FAQ.
What is welcome on this group? Any post written by a primary infertile discussing any range of emotions, or opinions.
Warnings!!!! As with alt.infertility, it is customary to put PG warnings in subject lines if discussing pregnancy, or to warn that children are mentioned (we will be polite once if you forget, but not so nice after the second time). Since many of us on alt.infertility.primary have been trying for a decade or longer, we also prefer nobody tell us that "it will happen for us someday" (or some other derivative of this sentiment), we have become testy in our barrenness and we may bite.
If you have elected to have abortions in the past. Please do not bring up the subject. Many of us have very strong feelings on that subject.
What is not welcome on this group?
1. Cross posting between other newsgroups. (For some reason this seems to be a difficult concept for some people to grasp. We do not want the cross postings, because quite often what is appropriate for one group, may not be appropriate for this group.)
2. Posting by anyone who is not a primary infertile as defined by this FAQ, unless it is an announcement of a new medical technique or an announcement that will benefit those on the group. Although we prefer that all medical questions and answers remain on alt.infertility.
3. Postings written by anyone other than a primary infertile as defined at the beginning of this FAQ putting down another's opinions or feelings. (note we should all try to be as polite as possible, but there are times when a person may inadvertently hurt someone else's feelings, and the injured party should feel comfortable letting that be known).
4. Posts for sales or donations of meds (i.e., Follistim, Gonal-F, HCG, etc.) are not allowed or wanted on alt.infertility.primary. If you have meds for sale or donation, post your information on the two main infertility newsgroups: alt.infertility or misc.health.infertility. These posts are inappropriate for the primary newsgroup as we deal strictly with emotional issues pertaining to primary infertility.
As with all parts of life, religion is very important to many of us. In order to protect the sensitivity of all, please put religion mentioned in your header.